The Second Chance

Friday, July 13, 2018

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"It feels so bad to have this kind of feeling. The way you stare into my eyes, your pair of light brown eyes, melted me away to the ground. Felt like you undress me from head to toe with the depth of your gaze. The more time and space separate us, the more I realized that I want you. We might be sleeping underneath the same sky, but this distance and the timezone are slowly fading the connection between us away. Do you ever think about me over there? I wish there will be another sunny day for us to meet, let me hold you in my arms, you can feel my lips and the world would stop spinning for a while. Just one more day.
I know I sound crazy, it was just a day, but my heart never rests from the beats since. But if not, thank you for the memories. I will keep you in my heart forever, and if there is any second life, we should be a lover. I miss you so bad though I know I shouldn't and I can't have you either. Too bad it feels like I lost you when you are not even mine."

A beautiful letter folded and kept inside a drawer. Anne fetched a deep breath as she remembering the sweet memory back then.
That beautiful man, Sanders. The first and last time they met each other was really a beautiful day for them. The chemistry between them was really a blast, and both knew there was something happened. It keeps repeating on Anne's brain until she fell asleep.



7.00 AM


"ANNE!" her mother's voice echoing in the whole room. Anne woke up in a shock. She looked into the clock and realized something is happening.

"What are you doing in bed sleepyhead? It's time! Get up!"

"What happens, mom?"

Her mother puzzled her in a second, "What do you mean? Today is your wedding day, sweetheart! Did you hit your head last night? Quick! Time is running out, everybody is already here!" she ran outside the room and yelling at everybody.

Anne still was not sure about the situation, did mum said the wedding day? Wait. Hold on. She grabbed a beautiful flower bouquet on the table and read her name on it. Anne almost choked with surprised. This is really her wedding day. Suddenly she feels joy flooded over as she looked into the white lace gown in the corner of her bedroom.
It is a beautiful lace gown, perfectly hung and ready to be worn. She touched every detail of the gown gently, tears dripping from her eyes. Laces and ribbon, this is becoming true - Anne's childhood wedding wish.

"Hi, Anne, let's get ready," a woman came into the room with a bucket of makeup tools.

"Suze?"

"Yes darling, I know you are nervous. Take a deep breath, everything will be okay, everybody is here and your big day is gonna be okay," Suzie hugged her.

"You always know what kind of makeup that I like, aren't you?" Anne asked Suzie, her best friend since high school. Everything is so packed and Anne still has to process it in her brain. She has no time to think about anything except, who is the man she's going to marry? Anne slapped her face as she knows this is not a dream.

"You look so beautiful, he's so lucky to have you!" 

"Suze, who is.."

"Sssh! I want to do the eye makeup please keep in silence, love," Suzie seriously doing her job.

After one and a half hour, Anne stared at herself, still didn't believe her eyes. The woman she saw on the mirror, wearing a beautiful white dress, with a lovely veil, her makeup and hair all looked stunning.

"You girls are done? We are a little bit late, but should be okay!" her mom came and held her tears.

"My beautiful daughter."

"Is everybody here already?" Suzie asked Anne's mom, and she nodded hard. "That's why let's go outside. The ceremony almost begins."

Anne took a very deep breath as she walked outside, she tried to remember what was yesterday feels like. What was the last food she ate? How did the boyfriend propose to her? Who is he? She was seeing so many guys before and not sure which one will be the partner of her life now.

Anne walked slowly and she saw her dad standing in front of the door. She heard the Disney's instrumental melodies slowly played outside. It is really what she planned when she was younger.

"Dad?"

"I am so proud of you my dear, don't be nervous, I'll kick his dick if he ever hurt you in the future," her dad laughed. Anne smiled and hold her dad's arm.

The door was open, Anne can see many of her friends, families, and some colleagues. They are staring at her. Her heart was pounding so fast, she can't really hear the audience clap or shout. She can only hear her heartbeat and heavy breath.
The Disney classic instrumental magically turned the atmosphere into a fairytale. As she walked on the aisle, she saw the back of her man, the soon to be husband.

She burst in tears, stopped her step for a while, when she finally saw for the first time, the man of her dream, standing in front of her and stared at her with happiness on his face.

"Sweetheart," her dad called her as they literally stopped on the middle of the aisle. 

Anne looked at her dad with tears and they started to walk again. She cannot believe her eyes.

"I give my daughter to you, Sanders. She is my precious little girl and will always be my gemstone. I know God sent you to her, please protect her for the whole of your life," her dad gave Anne to the man. Anne can't stop crying.

Sanders looked into her eyes and wiped her tears gently.

"Are you happy, baby?" he asked. 

Anne was still frozen with everything, not sure overwhelmed by happiness or questions. But she surely feels so happy, she could feel it with her heart that nearly exploded. She just nodded while holding her tears.

The pastor preached about the wedding, but what Anne did was staring at Sanders. She clearly remembered how much she missed him, every single detail of his features, and how she wished to the stars to meet him as soon as possible. And now he is here, will be her husband in a minute. This is so surreal. Happiness flooded her mind and soul.
It's time to exchange the vow.

Sanders smiled at her and held her hands. He tried to hold his tears and he said;

"Anne, I still remember the first time we met. On a sunny day, I saw a beautiful girl, from another side of the world. The universe decided to unite us, not a coincidence. First I asked for your number, you were so skeptical about this random guy who looked so different with you. From that day I couldn't stop thinking about you. I am so proud and happy that today you will be my wife. So, Anne, I take you as my wife for now and forever, I will love you no matter what, till death do us part."

Anne can't stop the tears from falling down, her heart couldn't help with all the emotion she felt right now.

"Sanders, I don't know where to start this vow, honestly I still can't believe this is happening. I miss you every day since the day one we met, I cannot stop thinking about you and waiting for your text. I just pray to heaven to give me chance to meet you again very soon but never expected we could be a husband and wife. I take you Sanders as my husband, I will love you forever till I even forget my name, I will still hold you in my heart, forever and always."

Sanders kissed her passionately, full of love. He picked her up and the audience cheered for them. Anne tasted his lips that mixed with her tears. She now could not differentiate the feelings inside her heart, is it happiness, or something else?

Her sight is now turned darker, as she took off her lips from him, her head was spinning around. Too much happiness was really got her dizzy.


Anne opened her eyes.


03.45 AM



He was not there. Anne was in her bedroom, alone, her pillow was wet of tears. She took a deep breath as she feels the last taste of the wedding kiss. It was only a dream, but why is it so real? She misses that man, too much, till her brain could not take it anymore so it created a false reality. There is no more capacity for her to love him. Her veins sensed her sorrow, and all the hormones work together to give her second chance that is unreal. Her body knew what to do to keep her sane because only the illusion that can help her get over this.
She surely misses him despite all the facts that he is out of nowhere, doing things that she didn't know, with no text or call, slowly forgotten and just faded into memories.

Anne screamed in her silence. She deleted his number, trying her best to not cross his path anymore, and the only thing left was pain. Her mind was so confused by the unending chemistry. She cheered up herself, well at least she married him in a dream, maybe not just once.

Anne get up from her bed, looked outside the window. Winter is ending soon, she no longer denies the hallucination of him, she tried to savour the pain until its numb. She took the folded paper on the drawer, read it loudly, promised herself to move on from something that wasn't even there. 

She wrapped herself with a warm blanket, as she waiting for the sunrise to come, another day to live, separating dream and reality when she knew forgetting is way easier than cure the wounds.

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rhea

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